An ideological poison is polluting all life within Ethiopia, flowing into every area of civil society. Local governance, urban and rural neighbourhoods, farming, education and the judiciary all are washed in Revolutionary Democracy’, the doctrine of the ruling party. Human Rights Watch (HRW) in their detailed report ‘Development without Freedom’ (DWF) quote Ethiopia’s Prime Minister for the last twenty years Meles Zenawi explaining that “when Revolutionary Democracy permeates the entire society, individuals will start to think alike and all persons will cease having their own independent outlook. In this order, individual thinking becomes simply part of collective thinking because the individual will not be in a position to reflect on concepts that have not been prescribed by Revolutionary Democracy.” A society of automatons is the EPRDF vision, The Borg Collective in the Horn of Africa, men women and children of the seventy or so tribal groups of Ethiopia all dancing to one repressive tune sung by the ruling EPRDF.
Dollars and nonsense
Ethiopia receives around $3 billion dollars in long-term development aid each year (second only to Indonesia); this is more than a third of the country’s total annual budget. Funds and resources donated to support the needy, in the hands of the Zenawi regime are being employed as a means of manipulating the Ethiopian people along partisan ideological lines. HRW states in DWF, “the Ethiopian government is using development aid as a tool of political repression by conditioning access to essential government services on support for the ruling party.”
The EPRDF has complete control of funds donated to Ethiopia by the Development Assistance Group (DAG), a consortium of the main donors, including the World Bank, USA, the European Commission and Britain. The government holds the purse strings of every dollar and cent allocated for the four major areas of development work: Protection of Basic Services (PBS), the Productive Safety Net Programme, Public Sector Capacity Building and the General Education Quality Improvement.
The largest single donor is the USA, which in 2011 according to US state department figures “provided $847 million in assistance, including more than $323 million in food aid.” The European Commission gives 400 million and Britain, via the Department Foreign Investment and Development (DFID) has committed £331million ($516million) per year until 2015. The British taxpayers’ pounds according to DFID “will meet the needs of the very poorest and support proven results-driven programmes that will bring healthcare, education and water to millions of people.” Well intentioned perhaps, however in attempting to ‘meet the needs of the very poorest’, as DFID claim, HRW research found that all international development aid, “flows through, and directly supports, a virtual one-party state with a deplorable human rights record, [whose] practices include jailing and silencing critics and media, enacting laws to undermine human rights activity, and hobbling the political opposition.” Facts well known to donors, who are content it seems to allow, indeed support the politicization of aid, a catalogue of human rights violations and the widespread suppression of the people,forced to live in an ideological straight jacket fastened tight by agents of the Zenawi government, at national, regional and community level.
Conditional support
The EPRDF government controls all areas of government and civil society in Ethiopia, from the judiciary to the classroom, the media to the farm, telecommunication and the banks.
The EPRDF controls all areas of government and civil society in Ethiopia, from the judiciary to the classroom, the media to the farm, telecommunication and the banks. Its reach into urban neighborhoods and rural communities was greatly increased before the 2008 elections, when the number of seats in the woreda and kebele were expanded from 15 to 300. Only the EPRDF was able to field candidates in all councils and with opposition parties largely boycotting the unfair elections, the EPRDF ‘won’ over 99.9% of the seats, meaning as HRW state “the ruling party had total control of the rural majority of the Ethiopian population.”
Through the regional offices of the woreda and kebele the government exercises its ability to control ordinary rural and urban Ethiopians; it is here that the administration of daily life takes place. Local offices approve or reject, applications from farmers for seeds and fertilizer, decide on micro credit support, distribute food to the needy (10 – 20 million rely on food aid), allocate education and employment opportunities, issue business permits and ID cards. The result, as HRW state is “state/party officials have significant influence over the livelihoods of citizens.” An understatement, in fact they govern all aspects of life, within the city or the village, for the teacher or the judge, the women seeking to start a small business, or the Mother desperate to feed her family. All are at the mercy of government officials.
Emergency food relief is given as part of the PBS program, a highly expensive complex development scheme, which assigns around $1 billion a year reports HRW, in a “block grant to the federal government,” they disperse the funds through their kebele’s and woreda offices. Distribution is based not on need, but on political association, support the opposition groups in Ethiopia and find your name scratched from the food aid list and go hungry, HRW found “the partisan allocation of food aid, [is] a problem that has been anecdotally reported in many areas and over many years in Ethiopia, especially in recent years in Somali region.” Such political discrimination of food aid distribution is not only immoral; it is in violation of international law. Farmers who Express dissent towards the government have the agricultural seeds and fertilizer needed to grow crops for their family and community withheld, voice concern over local governance as a teacher and find your career destroyed and your job taken away. HRW found “the EPRDF controls every woreda in the country, and can discriminate against any household or kebele within these administrative areas.” Given such repressive illegal actions it is inexplicable that the DFID in its Plan For Ethiopia (PFE) state the government shows “a strong commitment to fight corruption.” What the EPRDF shows is a strong commitment to suppress dissent, silence all critical voices and control the people utterly.
Big Ethiopian brother
Ethiopia is a one party state, with no freedom of speech, or assembly nor freedom of the media and where opposition forces critical of the government are silenced in the most brutal fashion. It is puzzling then, that the DFID (PFE) states, “Ethiopia has also made some progress toward establishing a functioning democracy,” It is certainly not an image of democracy recognizable to anyone who holds human rights and freedom of expression central to such an ideal and is contradicted by USAID’s statement in its Strategy Plan for Ethiopia where they acknowledge the“$13 million+ that USAID/Ethiopia invested between 2006 and 2010 specifically to promote democratic transition produced little in the way of tangible results, and specific programs have been the subject of stalling and even outright hostility.” The DFID however, go on to compound the misrepresentation asserting, “Ethiopia has achieved a strong degree of political stability through decentralized regional government.” If by ‘stability’ the DFID mean lack of popular resistance to imposed governance, through the fearful subjugation of the people, then yes this the EPRDF has succeeded in doing.
Opposition to the government is not tolerated nor is there decentralized governance, as Thomas Staal, USAID Mission Director to Ethiopia recently stated, and “the [Ethiopian] government wants to be able to control political space very carefully The kebele, woreda and sub kebele’s are extensions of central government, carrying out the divisive partisan policies of the EPRDF, the sole expression of democratic principles in Ethiopia are those found within constitutional articles, that sit neatly filed upon ministerial shelves, collecting dust, as HRW make clear “democracy [is] a hollow concept in a country steered by a powerful party-driven government in which the distinction between party and state is almost impossible to define.” And In their report “One Hundred Ways of Putting Pressure Violations of Freedom of Expression and Association in Ethiopia“ HRW echo USAID’s comment, observing that “despite the lip service given to democracy and human rights, respect for core civil and political rights such as freedom of expression and association in Ethiopia is deteriorating.” DFID officials it seems have been duped by a plethora of conformist federal laws and signatures to multiple international treatises, into accepting the word of a government that terrifies its people and tramples on international human rights law.
Partisan monitoring
Not only are all key development programs implemented by the EPRDF, but also monitoring is also undertaken in partnership with government agencies. Objective accurate monitoring is essential in determining the effectiveness of development programs; it is difficult to see how unbiased data can be collected under such highly restrictive circumstances. HRW makes the point that “donors should recognize that Ethiopia’s own accountability systems are moribund, and that the principal barrier to detecting distortion is the Ethiopian government.” Their view that independent monitoring “is needed (without the participation of the Ethiopian Government)” is clearly correct and the bare minimum donors should insist on.
In its wisdom however, the DFID – a key donor, whilst recognizing the importance of monitoring appears happy to rely on the Ethiopian government, in which they naively invest such trust. They plan to “continue to monitor progress using national data drawn from administrative and survey sources,” i.e. the Ethiopian government. This demonstration of neglect by the DFID is an abdication of duty not only to British taxpayers, but also to the people of Ethiopia, who the EPRDF, with the help of international donors, continue to suppress and intimidate. They cannot and should not be trusted, HRW Deputy Director Jan England’s Open Letter to DFID Secretary of State Andrew Mitchell makes this plain, “the Ethiopian government is extremely resistant to scrutiny the British government and other donors to Ethiopia should not allow the Ethiopian government to dictate the terms on which British public money is monitored, and every effort should be made to prevent British development aid from strengthening authoritarian rule and repression.”
Ideological imposition
At the core of the EPRDF’s suppression and disregard for human rights is an ideological obsession. Revolutionary Democracy. Evangelical party political indoctrination takes place in within schools, teacher training institutions, the civil service and the judiciary. All contrary to international law, the Ethiopian constitution and federal laws, composed to conform to universal legal standards, conveniently cited by politician and diplomats, ignored and unenforced they mean nothing to the people.
School children above grade 10 (aged 15/16 years) are required to attend training sessions in the party ideology, policies on economic development, land sales and education. Admission to university, although not legally the case is implicitly dependent upon membership of the party, HRW found “students were under the impression that they needed party membership cards to gain admission to university.” The EPRDF stamp is also required to secure government jobs after graduation. All teachers, civil servants and judges are under pressure to tow the party line, to join the EPRDF and follow its doctrine, failure to do so impacts on employment and career prospects. Ethiopia’s largest donor, the USA, in the State Department human rights country report for 2011 notes, “Students in schools and universities were indoctrinated in the core precepts of the ruling EPDRF party’s concept of “revolutionary democracy…. the ruling party “stacks” student enrolment at Addis Ababa University… Authorities did not permit teachers at any level to deviate from official lesson plans and actively prohibited partisan political activity and association of any kind.”
Educational brainwashing of course contravenes the Ethiopian constitution, which clearly states in Article 90/2 “Education shall be provided in a manner that is free from any religious influence, political partisanship or cultural prejudice.” Words, righteous and legally binding are of no concern to Zenawi, his ministers, foreign diplomats and the cadres or spies who patrol the city neighbourhoods, university campus and civil service offices, infiltrate villages and towns of rural Ethiopia intimidating and blackmailing the people. International donors however, should be deeply concerned and take urgent actions to stop such violations of national and international law and the politicisation of aid distribution including emergency food relief.
Mixed Motives distorted action
Western governments reasons for providing development aid to Ethiopia are both humanitarian and strategic, USAID in its country plan, calls Ethiopia “the most strategically important partner in the region,” and the DFID states, “Ethiopia matters to the UK for a range of development, foreign policy and security reasons.”
Regional stability and the ‘fight against terrorism’ is cited as justification for continuing to support the EPRDF, in spite of extensive human rights abuses, the partisan distribution of aid and state terrorism. In fact, far from bringing stability to the area, the Zenawi regime is a cause of instability, this Anna Gomez makes plain “the Al-Shabab militia [Islamist group in Somalia] have only grown stronger [emphasis mine] and survival has been made more difficult since Ethiopian troops invaded in 2006, at the behest of George W. Bush.”
With conflicting interests, some might say corrupt and corrupting, donor countries find themselves funding a deeply repressive violent regime, enabling a coordinated policy of ideological indoctrination to take place, as HRW found “the government has used donor-supported programs, salaries, and training opportunities as political weapons to control the population, punish dissent, and undermine political opponents” Western donors silence and complicity in the face of such violations of international law is as Anna Gomez rightly says in the Bureau of Investigative Journalism 4th August 2011 “letting down all those who fight for justice and democracy and increasing the potential for conflict in Ethiopia and in Africa.”
The politicization and manipulation of aid distribution by the EPRDF violates international law and all standards of moral decency. Those providing aid must take urgent action to ensure this illegal practice comes to an end. Donors are well aware of the human rights abuses taking place, but have turned a blind eye to the repression of civil and political rights and a deaf ear to the cries of the many for justice and freedom. Western governments silence amounts to collusion; it is a gross misuse of taxpayer’s money and a betrayal, of international human rights laws and the Ethiopian people.
Graham is Director of The Create Trust, a UK registered charity, supporting fundamental social change and the human rights of individuals in acute need.
Ethiopia under the boots of the Tigrai Peoples Liberation Front (TPLF) is a two-faced country. Foreign alms givers and the ruling party pat each other on the back for a job well done. For the average Ethiopian, the country is an oppressive virtual prison without opportunities — a sad, hopeless place that forces many frustrated citizens to migrate to an abusive Middle East. Ethiopia’s rulers are addicted to the foreign exchange earnings that are created on the backs of these women. There is much dissonance between imaginary growth figures bandied about and the depressing reality of the average Ethiopian on the ground. It is hard to think of any other country in the world many of whose citizens are willing to risk life and limb to get away from an oppressive system that has denied them a living.
Ethiopia to export half a million maids annually to Saudi Arabia
By zehabesha.com
May 16, 2012 (Durame) — Ethiopia commenced sending 45,000 Ethiopian housemaids per month to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA), an Ethiopian official said by phone today.
The controversial recruitment strategy will send 500,000 Ethiopian women annually to a country long known for abusing housemaids and foreign nationals in the strict Sharia-governed Kingdom.
Amid tougher restrictions for housemaids working in KSA by the Philippines, Indian, Sri Lankan, Indonesian and Kenyan governments, Ethiopian housemaids have been in high demand by families in Saudi Arabia.
With little to no support from the Government of Ethiopia, many Ethiopian women are often exploited by Saudi families, working grueling 16-hour days and having their passports and earnings withheld to prevent them from running away.
Poverty and high unemployment in Ethiopia continues to be the leading factor that drives young women towards the Middle East.
“There are no opportunities in Ethiopia for employment. I either become a prostitute in Addis or a housemaid in Saudi Arabia. I have chosen the latter to support my family,” said 23-year-old Asamenech Alemu by phone.
Earning up to SR4,000 (USD $1,060) a month for legal housemaids, nearly a year’s salary in Ethiopia, hundreds of thousands of Ethiopian women will continue to flock to the Kingdom in search of employments, despite the risks of abuse.
(This article is part of an Ethiopian Review weekly series that is intended to highlight and help stop the growing problem of domestic violence in the Ethiopian community.)
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Sometimes courts require abused women to participate in services with their partners. Such services may include mediation or parent education.
Mediation is used to help people work out their differences and come to agreement. Many judges order {www:mediation} in divorce and custody cases. However, mediation can be dangerous for the same reason couple counseling can be dangerous. It can be dangerous for abused women to express their feelings in front of their partners. This option only works if both parties have equal power in the relationship.
Some abused women choose mediation, thinking that it will lead to better results for them and their children. If you use mediation, it is important to discuss with your attorney or advocate your goals and expectations ahead of time. Be clear about what you are willing to negotiate about and what you’re not. Again, consult your local domestic violence program about the mediation program and the individual mediator.
Women who are abused do not have to attend parent education. If the court orders you to attend, tell the clerk who handles the paperwork that you have been abused and ask for a waiver. You can also tell the person you speak to at the parent education program about the abuse and request a waiver. Requesting or getting a waiver should not affect the outcome of your case. If you do decide to participate, you should definitely attend a separate class from your partner.
Stalking
A serious potential safety risk to abused women is stalking. Stalking is one person’s unwanted {www:pursuit} of another person. While some stalking happens between strangers or {www:acquaintance}s, stalking also happens in intimate relationships. Stalking can happen after the relationship has ended or while you are still with your partner. Many women who are stalked by their partner are also physically or sexually assaulted by them.
Stalking is a crime in New York State. There are four counts of stalking under the law depending on the stalker’s behavior. Common stalking behavior includes:
* following you or showing up wherever you are;
* driving by or hanging out near your home, school, or workplace;
* repeatedly calling you, including hang-ups;
* sending you unwanted letters, cards, e-mails, or gifts;
* monitoring your phone calls or computer use;
* damaging your home, car, or other property; and
* taking other actions that control, track, or frighten you.
While some stalkers’ behavior may not seem dangerous or threatening to an outsider, stalking is serious and should be treated that way. If you are being stalked, it is important to keep a record of what is happening. This can become useful evidence if you decide to get help from the police or court. Every time something happens, you should record:
* the date;
* the time;
* a description of the incident;
* the location of the incident; and
* any witnesses, including their names, addresses, and phone numbers.
Technology Safety
The use of modern technology has increased abusers’ abilities to monitor and track their partners’ activities. If you are not sure if someone is monitoring you, trust your instincts, especially if your abuser seems to know too much about your activities or things you have only told to a few people. Abusers can be very determined and creative. A person does not have to be “tech savvy” to buy or use monitoring or surveillance technology. It is cheap and easy to use.
Phones
These days, most people have a cell phone. It can be a link to safety. On the other hand, an abuser can use it as a tool to listen to your calls and track your whereabouts. Most phones come with services or options to do this, such as: Caller ID, call logs, Call Return Service (*69), last number dialed, Global Positioning System (GPS), “silent mode,” or “auto answer.” Landlines (regular telephones) may also carry some of these risks. Traditional “corded” phones are usually safer than other kinds of phones. Think of these things as you plan for your safety. Consider options such as leaving your cell phone behind if you leave or getting another phone on a new account.
Computers
If the abuser has access to your computer, he can see what websites you have gone to and read your e-mail. Abusers can also monitor computer activities without being there by using keystroke logging technology or spying software. These send a report to the abuser’s computer of all the activity (e-mails, websites visited, instant messages, etc.) that has taken place on your computer. Be aware that changing passwords or erasing history could make the abuser suspicious. To be safe, use a computer at a library, community center, Internet café, workplace, or a trusted friend’s house when you need to look for help or plan to escape.
Recording Devices
Hidden cameras, such as “Nanny Cams,” are cheap and easy to get. Abusers can easily hide a camera to monitor your actions. These cameras can be very small and will often appear as everyday objects. Even a baby monitor can be used for listening to conversations. As tempting as it might be, shutting them off or removing them could make your partner suspicious. Be careful.
Tracking Devices
Global Positioning System (GPS) devices are affordable, small, and can be easily hidden. An abuser can hide a GPS device in your car, jewelry, purse, shoes, and other objects that you carry with you. If you find an object you think may be a GPS device, do not remove it. Call the police. If it’s safe to do so, take photos.
Save proof of contact by the abuser, including e-mails, instant messages, or phone messages. Saving everything can help show patterns, plan for safety, and provide evidence for police. For evidence, it is important that e-mail messages stay on your computer, even if you print them out.
Technology is constantly changing and evolving. For the most up-to-date information on technology safety, visit The Safety Net Project at www.nnedv.org/SafetyNet.
Sexual Assault
There is an overlap between domestic violence and sexual assault. Sexual assault is often one of the last things that abused women talk about because it is so deeply personal. It is very common, however, that someone who is abused by their intimate partner has also been sexually assaulted by them. In fact, most sexual assault happens between people who know each other.
Many domestic violence programs also have sexual assault services available. If you feel you would get more help from a sexual assault program than a domestic violence program, call the NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline and ask for a referral to the sexual assault program (sometimes called a rape crisis center) in your community.
(This article is part of an Ethiopian Review weekly series that is intended to highlight and help stop the growing problem of domestic violence in the Ethiopian community.)
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Abusers often do not take responsibility for their behavior. They blame their partners, stress, alcohol or drugs, anger, loss of control, an unhappy childhood, or someone or something else. The fact is, lots of people are under stress, drink, use drugs, get angry, or were abused as children. Yet most of these people do not choose to use violence and control in their intimate relationships.
Domestic abuse is about one person’s decision to manipulate and control their partner. Abuse is not a loss of control. In fact, it’s usually just the opposite. Abusers control their partners in many different ways. Think about it: they are able to control their own behavior when necessary. They usually don’t hit their co-workers or the store clerk who makes a mistake, but they often use those things as excuses for abusing their partners later.
Abusers can change, but it’s not easy. If enough is at stake, they may decide that they need to change. Regardless of what your partner does, it is important to continue to plan for your own safety.
A program for batterers
Most abusers go to {www:batterer} programs because a court ordered them to go. Ordering abusers to attend a batterer program is sometimes used by the courts or probation as a tool for holding them accountable. Or, they may hope that the abusers’ behavior will change. All batterer programs are different. They use different tools and have different goals. None of them can guarantee that a person’s behavior will change after the program. Since not all batterer programs operate in ways that put your safety first, ask your local domestic violence program for information about the programs in your area.
While it may seem like a positive step for your partner to attend a batterer program, it doesn’t mean that he will choose to stop his violent behavior or that you will be safe. Many abusers who attend a program continue to be violent and controlling. You should plan for your safety based on who he is right now, not who you want him to become.
Drinking or using drugs
Even when abusers stop drinking or using drugs, their abuse often continues. Alcohol and other drug use do not cause domestic violence, although abusers often use it as an excuse. Abusers who drink or use drugs have two separate problems – abuse and alcohol/drug use – that need to be dealt with separately. Many abusers get more violent – and more dangerous – when they stop drinking or using drugs.
Many drug and alcohol treatment programs offer groups for family members or family counseling sessions, but these are not always safe for people being abused by their intimate partner. You may be abused for what you say or the counselor may say or do things that put you in danger. Also, your partner may blame you – and you may blame yourself – for both his drinking and his abuse toward you.
If you decide to tell the substance abuse counselor that you are being abused, don’t do it in front of your partner. No counselor should ever insist that you participate in services if your partner is abusing you. You are the only one who can decide whether it’s safe to participate or whether it’s safer to refuse.
Couple counseling
According to abused women who have gone for couple or family counseling, it doesn’t work, and often makes things worse. Counselors who don’t know about the abuse or who don’t understand domestic violence may do or say things that put you in danger.
Couple counseling assumes that both people in the couple are free to share their thoughts and feelings. That cannot be true if one person is abusing the other. It is often dangerous for abused women to express their feelings and talk openly about the abuse in front of their partners. Some women are threatened or assaulted for things they said – or didn’t say – during a couple counseling session. If that happens, tell your counselor about it in private. Ask them to find a way to end the couple sessions without letting your partner know what you said.
Going to counseling together suggests that you share some responsibility for your partner’s behavior – a belief that he may already have. An abuser’s behavior is his responsibility, no one else’s, and he is not likely to change unless he takes full responsibility for his actions.
(This article is part of an Ethiopian Review weekly series that is intended to highlight and help stop the growing problem of domestic violence in the Ethiopian community.)
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People who abuse their {www:intimate} partners may also abuse their children. Even if they are not a target of the violence, however, children often know about the abuse happening in their home even when parents think they don’t. Abused women try very hard to shield their children from the violence, but this is not always possible.
While each child is different, children can be affected by seeing one parent abuse the other. Some ways children may be affected include:
* health-related problems, such as headaches and stomach problems;
* developmental problems, such as bed-wetting;
* using aggressive behavior against others, including the non-violent parent;
* problems learning and concentrating in school; and
* school attendance problems.
An important factor in helping children deal with domestic violence is their relationship with you. There are things you can do to help them with what is happening now, and these things may also help them as they become adults.
* Listen to your children – You may think it is better not to talk about the violence with your children, but it is often helpful for children to feel free to talk about what is happening.
* Help your children express their feelings – Children may have many different emotions and feelings as a result of the violence. Help them identify their feelings and let them know that whatever they are feeling is OK.
* Don’t “bad-mouth” the other parent – It is important to be honest with your children, but remember that they probably still love and care about their other parent. Letting them know that this is OK can help them feel less guilty or anxious.
* Establish a sense of security and safety – It is important that children feel safe and protected. Spend extra time with your children and show them love and physical closeness. Even 10 minutes a day of playtime with a toddler can go a long way to help them feel loved and secure. Be consistent with your children, including discipline and routines like homework and mealtime.
There is help available for children who have lived with domestic violence. Many domestic violence programs have services specifically for children, including counseling and support groups. Talk to your local program about how they can help your children, and/or if they have referrals for other children’s services.
(This article is part of an Ethiopian Review weekly series that is intended to highlight and help stop the growing problem of domestic violence in the Ethiopian community.)
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Local domestic violence programs are a valuable resource. They provide confidential helpincluding 24-hour hotlines, counseling, and emergency shelter. While shelter may be what most people think a domestic violence program is, they also provide a lot of other useful services, and you don’t have to stay in a shelter to get help from a domestic violence program. Another important thing to know is that you can use a domestic violence program whether you plan to stay in the relationship with your partner or not.The person at a domestic violence program who will help you is an “advocate.” Advocates understand the criminal justice, Family Court, and social services systems, and they are familiar with other community resources that might be useful to you.In addition to giving you good information, advocates can often go with you to court, to the police station, or to social services, and provide you with practical and emotional support. Getting help from someone who has experience working with victims of domestic violence and who knows how to work with the different systems can make things a lot easier for you.
Available Services
There are domestic violence services available in every state in the United States. Specific services may vary from one community to another, but most programs offer the following services.
Shelters
Shelters offer a short-term safe place to stay for you and your children, if you have children. Domestic violence shelters are only for women who are abused and their children – they are different from homeless shelters. Every effort is made to keep the location of the shelter secret to protect the families who stay there. Some programs may even provide safety for your pets. Domestic violence shelters do have rules that people who stay there have to follow, in order to make sure that everyone stays safe. Usually you can stay there only for a short time. Shelter staff will start working with you right away to find longer-term housing.
24-Hour Hotline
Advocates are available 24 hours a day to provide emergency help and emotional support, information, admission into shelter, and referrals.
Counseling
One-on-one counseling provides information and emotional support. Counseling can also help you think about the choices and options that work best for you.
Support Groups
Support groups are like counseling, but are done with a group of people together. They are a good place to learn about domestic violence, listen to other women who have been abused, and share your story, if you choose. Many women find that support groups help them feel less alone.
Services for Children
Many programs offer a chance for children to talk about what is happening in their lives, participate in activities, go on outings, and get help with schoolwork.Many domestic violence programs offer some or all of the following additional services for women who have been abused, whether they are in a shelter or not. These include:
* help getting medical care
* help getting legal services for Family Court or for immigration issues
* help with housing, furniture, and clothing
* training and educational services
* help finding employment
* assistance getting social services, like health insurance, food stamps, and temporary cash assistance
*emergency transportation; and
*interpretation services.
What Other Services Are Available?
You may need help and services that the domestic violence program doesn’t provide. Communities across the State of New York, for example, offer a lot of other services that can help meet some of your other needs. Domestic violence programs can give you information and referrals for these services. Referrals are often available to:
* educational opportunities including General Education Development (GED) or college degree programs, English as a second language classes, certificate programs, and scholarship, grant, and stipend programs;
* employment programs like One-Stop Centers that assist with job training and placement, professional development, resumé-writing, interviewing skills, and job searches;
* culturally-specific services and groups, including information about immigrants’ rights and help for non-English speakers;
* health-related services including primary care, family planning, pre-natal care, breast exams, pediatric care, reconstructive cosmetic surgery, and testing for sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS and HIV;
* low-income and/or affordable housing programs and relocation assistance;
* alcohol/other substance recovery programs, mental health services, children’s counseling services, parenting programs, and support groups;
* child protective and preventive services;
* unemployment insurance;
* food stamps, food pantries; and
* child health insurance.
Counseling
If counseling is a service you want, call your workplace employee assistance program (EAP) or domestic violence program for suggestions. They may provide the service you are looking for. If not, they probably know of counselors who have been helpful to others. If you are worried about the cost, ask for referrals to counselors who use a sliding fee scale. Of course, there is no guarantee that you will feel comfortable or satisfied with a particular counselor. You may need to try more than one before you find one you want to work with. In deciding on the right counselor for you, look for a counselor who:
* Makes your safety, not your relationship, the priority.
* Is willing to help you develop a safety plan that meets yourneeds, and supports your right to make your own decisions.
* Believes what you say, takes you seriously, takes the abuse seriously, and doesn’t judge you or make you feel ashamed about past physical or sexual abuse.
* Doesn’t hold you responsible for your partner’s violence, and doesn’t encourage you to change as a way to get your partner to change.
* Doesn’t ask you to bring your partner into the counseling session.
* Is willing to involve a domestic violence advocate, if you wish.
* Understands that domestic violence is really about control, not about anger, stress, or alcohol/other substance use.
* Looks at the effects of all of your partner’s controlling behavior on you – physical, sexual, economic, emotional, and psychological abuse.
* Is sensitive to your cultural or religious beliefs.
* Doesn’t assume that you are abusive if you “hit your partner, too,” but understands that many abused women use violence as a way to fight back or defend themselves.
