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Ethiopian mother of 3-year old in Virginia killed by husband

Posted on , Updated on by Elias Kifle

The Ethiopian community in northern Virginia is in shock today after learning about the killing of Metsihet Belete, a resident of Arlington, Virginia, who is originally from Ethiopia.

Arlington Police have arrested Metsihet’s husband, Sirak Gebeyehu, 27, who is suspected of choking her to death.

Metsihet was pronounced dead Thursday afternoon after the effort by doctors to revive her for the past two days has failed.

Metsihet, 24, had been in the U.S. for the past two years. Six months ago, she had succeeded in bringing to the U.S. her husband, Sirak, and their 3-year old son Ezra, from Ethiopia, after saving enough money working as a waitress.

Metsihet had been working at Lalibela Restaurant in Arlington VA ever since she came to the U.S.

Police are investigating the motive for her killing.

84 thoughts on “Ethiopian mother of 3-year old in Virginia killed by husband”

  2. እግዜር ነፍስዋን ይማራት፡ ልጁዋንም እሱ በተዓምሩ ይጠብቀው። ሰውየውንም ፈጣሪ የሚገባውን አይንፈገው።በጣም ያሳዝናል። ባሌ፡ ትዳሬ፡ ልጄ ብላ ከኢትዮጵያ ድረስ ወጪ አውጥታ አምጥታቸው ከእንግዲህ አረፍኩ ስትል ነው ይህ ሁኔታ የሚደርስባት? ያሳዝናል።
    እንዴት ነው ነገሩ? የዚህ ሐገር ችግር አኛም ጋር እየተጋባ ነው ማለት ይሆን? ያስፈራል።
    የኛ ነገር የለየልት ይመስላል፡ እባካችሁ ልጆቻሁን ደግ ደጉን አስተምሩዋቸው።

  3. What is with the bad news come in pairs.
    My Condolences goes to her family. What is wrong with diaspora men, come on people, we need to behave as we do in our country.

  4. Shocking in deed!

    What is happening to my people? We are now making the headlines in the USA for bad things, especially the new DV generation.

    I feel really sad for baby Ezra. May God keep you safe and sound baby. My son’s name is also Ezra.

    All of us, please let us think twice before our actions!!!

  5. Guys better to lose your temper. One of the problems
    with Ethiopian diaspora women is that they want to have it
    in both ways, Ethiopian and American ways. They just mixed it and makes men to lose their tempers. NO logic at all!!!

  6. Very sad and heartfelt condolences!

    No blame blaming one way or the other though between the parties in such tragedies.

    Mind you folks this is a period of dynamic and ongoing global and local changes specially infested with local despots and robber dictator barons making stable, viable and peaceful lives impossible for the ordinary people in their familiar homes and known supportive communities with patterns of long standing social and cultural structures.

    The ordinary people being disempowered, excluded,oppressed and starved. Also socially, economically, politically made insecure thereby choosing to run in may different forms for their lives and limbs across deserts, oceans as well as the high skies.

    In many cases such tragedies results in deaths and distructions of victimized good humans some where in the deserts, on the high seas, in the homes of slave lords and slave ladies, as well as through mutual violences beween the highly stressed victims themseleves as the current sad case illustrates.

    For one thing, we must also remember the fact that intergenerational gaps between immigrant parents with strong back home culture and their children adapting easily to host culture can be a cuase of serious conflict within the family itself.

    Secondly, gender conflict may also easily arise within the family unit whereby the role of an immigrant man who might have been a respected head of the family and authority figure back home may suffer role reversal in the western host country. Here in the host country/culture even a woman may easily assume the role of family head and a symbol of authority with all the rights and privilages as an independent, equal and free human being with her own minds and independent wills to live, love, hate, give and take, etc.

    The best solution is for enlighted immigrant communities organizing and providing settlement and counselling services and helping families and individulas to be aware of the onging changes at the levels of communities, families and personal as well as their implications and how to deal with them constructively. Blame blaming and partisan warriorship or keep wondering about the tragedies solves no problem.

    Normally such role reversal is a great shocke and sources of stress and violence.

    Add to this all the political etc. cleavages and emmotions running high.
    You informed transformational community leaders at community levels!

    Dictatorship and national suffocation of freedom and liberty back home is the core and basic problem of displacement, dispertion and the multiple sufferances and tragedies that naturally follows.

  8. My heartfelt condolense goes to her son Ezra and all her families.They should be proud of her for I know her as a young hard working, reserved, typically descent Ethiopian lady.May God bless her! RIP

    For the rest of us, whatever the case may be,there is no moraly reprehensible justification for such act. It is barbarian, inhuman, uncivilized, brutal act. A civilised human being of this century should believe in discussion and taking rational decisions.Don’t tell me the obvious Ethiopian’s lame excuse-“ሰይጣን አሳስቶት ነው” for one’s obvert action.We don’t have to project it on third party or on the infamous Davil.

    AND AND AND we all should know that any kind of relationship (be it friendship, marriage or room-mate) is a consentual agreement between parties. If we lose the consent of one party or if one fails to respect the terms of it, the rational decision for the other party is to tell oneself that there is life after that and take his case to the proper forum for decision. LOVE is different from obsession. If you hear one say that he can’t live without the other one in a proper sense of the phrase that is a psychological problem called obsession. Let’s avoid it and try to be a RATIONAL ANIMAL .

  10. Very sad! especially for the child. He lost both his parents at once. The man could have just walked out if he disagreed with the wife. Just walk out man. He must be a terribly sick person mentally to resort to killing the mother of his child, no matter how angry she may have made him. This is just incomprehensible. There can be no justification in this world for doing what he did, if he indeed is the killer. This senseless killing is just an act of evil. And he is going to be paying for it for the rest of his life because he is going to be some body’s bitch inside a U.S. jail. What a moron!

  11. The husband should rot in the hell. No matter the woman make him angry, violence against the weak is not justified. Nature allowed men to be physically stronger than women. and it is unfair to see many of our men attack poor creatures.

    No wander the country is infested by thugish men harrassing anyone using their power and authority. The Ethiopian political problem is much related to the cultural and society ills in which men believe resolving their issues with power if they have a chance.

  12. Why does such cruelty happen? Why are we killing our brothers and sisters? The answer is simple: We come from a dysfunctional and bruised society that witnessed a lot of bloodshed and crime. Anger management, self control is not part and parcel of our personality. Instead, if you get hit once go get him twice is instilled in us.
    The death of this hard working mother is unbearable. The so called husband must pay with his life and the kids must be cared for and with a family willing to show them love and respect so they can forget the bad.
    What a loser.

  14. One thing I would like to say to all Ethiopian Brothers and Sisters is that It cost a lot to bury loved one ,so please find a way to help her sister now . What happened can not be revers.

  15. Guys, let us not assume such incidents would not happen at home country. For someone who has the intention of killing people could do it at any place and any time. It is unfortunate the lady has become his vicitm. Rememer anyone of us could have been his vicitm anyways. Henceforth; please do not summarily conculude that men in America loose thier temper easily for the sake of power or dominance. We have million of Ethiopian men as role model and I am proud of them. This case is a one of. My heartfelt condelence to Ezra and the family. God bless her soul.

  16. My heartfelt condolences to both her and his families, May God give them the strength to pull themselves through this epic tragedy.

    Mestawet:

    Even though no one knows the particulars of this tragedy, I believe you have managed to nail the problem in the head. Like you said, when bringing a male spouse to the west, the role reversal, unless handled with care and delicacy, could be tragic. As it happens this is not the first of its kind either.

    Ladies:

    When bringing your significant other to the west, please be understanding and tolerant by give them enough time to adjust to the culture. I know it could be very difficult and ridiculous at times to come home from a 16 hour back breaking shift and cook dinner for a spouse that’s been doing nothing except watch TV all day. But this is the untold bargain you are getting into when you pluck off a person from one culture and immerse him into another. Give them a little bit of time to adapt and soak the culture before demanding they learn to cook. Here, I would like to underline the fact that no matter what you do there will always be a few ignorant and abusive individuals, but most of Ethiopians are smart and adaptive, given time.

  17. This is a very sad news. I go to Lalibela quite often and I am sure I would recognize the girl if I saw her picture. Blame blame does not work. Those who rush into blaming him or her are showing lack of proper understanding as we all do not know what goes on between them. Murdering is hard to justify morally (unless, for many, in self defense), many men/women lose control of their own emotion and react violently during altercations. The change in living condition, culture, and life style after moving to the U.S. also contribute a lot. I have seen several of my own friends becoming emotional and reacting violently shortly after moving to the U.S. I myself, a once calm and composed personality, lose temper occassionally after going through some dynamic changes in this country. [Do not worry. I am still calm by the way] We need to be aware of these changes and try to control our temper.

    I am sure he deeply regrets what he has done although it changes nothing at all.

    May God rest Metsihet’s soul in peace in heaven, protect Ezra, and forgive Sirak’s!

  18. First of all my condolence goes to her beloved family. What a terrible tragedy!!! Three lives destroyed because of on lame decision. “Only God Can Judge me, Nobody else.” This is what happens when a mere man wants to occupy God’s throne by taking things into his own hand. We have to open up our eyes and see that the darkness is even getting darker. The horrible time the bible predicted long ago is up on us. “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

  21. This has been happening to Ethiopian and Eritrean community everywhere in North America and Europe. One thing is for certain, there is a cultural shock experienced by the men. They are having hard time absorbing that shock and making it work for themselves, I bet you he killed her because she showed some frustration toward his attitude to get up and run. She has been in the US longer than he has, and he feels she is undermining him and she feels he is not adopting fast enough. Many women who go back home and marry their past lover experience the same trouble once the man comes to the foreighn land. It is best if they immigrate together and lear the culture together or the man bring the woman.

  26. My condolances for all Ethiopians who hear and read this tragdedy. What a Tragedy. What is happening to us. Are we, such a horrible and terrible bunch of people? What happen to our respect to our humanbeings?, let alone for our Spouse? I think I know, and I believe for the last thirty-five years we have adopted such behaviour as killings for no reason. Our parents may have fought with foreigners and may have killed someone for reason, to keep their country intact in freedom. Our parents were careful for sacred and dear humanlife.

    I come to believe that, the new generation have adopted the killing-machine behavior from a Soicialist propaganda, “Mother will eat her own Children.” which I abhored when I heard it, when I was in Ethiopia in the 1980’s. There may be some matcho tradition and traits in our vein that boild once a while. We have to stop it. We must learn to hehave and learn to live, sometimes it seems, in a cnfused and reverse lifestyle in this country. Most of us well adopted to live comfortably with this lifestyle. I do not have any problem. But for a new comer from men knows better way of life, we have to be careful and we must orient and teach, such is life in the United States of America. We have to tell it, like it is. We should not lie, there back home, or here, how we live. If we tell the truth, may be someone can be spare from falling.

    I am terribly sad, because I know some of us are angry people. I can sense some anger and frustration in our everyday lives. I observe, in our social, political and econmic participiation, we behave like my-way is the highway behaviour. If someone disagree with us he/she is evil and he/she must be destroyed. Some of us spend our time drniking and smoking heavely to reliefe our frustration. Such is the world we live in.

    We have to learn to help and councel eathother. No one can be our councel, since we are peculiar people, We are not open. It may have been an asset in our parents’ time. That is why foreigners did not understand Ethiopians and did not pentrate the highland of Ethiopia and colonize us . I also know that, most of Ethiopian (us} are decent humanbeings. We just need strong community, counceling, and helping One another. I remember, in my economic class, when we were discussing some tragedy such as this, he said, all of us are 15% insane,85% normal. when the 15% takes over, we do not know what we do. That is the time we kill, destroy and do bad things. I remember this all the time, and I walk away, when someone confronts me with anger, for nothing. If you wake awawy that anger will dissipate in a few minutes. I want each one of you to walk away from a small infraction of mistakes, that can be big sad consequence.

  28. dont judge by your own verdict. please…we dont know what made him kill her. there must be a case which made him take her life and decide to this extent. we know that people not only kill other people for some reason but also they kill themselves. therefore, let us put our selves in to their position and judge after knowing the real story between them

  29. Thank you for your service in posting her picture.
    she was a young lovely mother who is too young to die.
    it is very hard to judge and blame as this issue is very personal with both individuals. one thing is true, the action taken is very barbaric. he could have seen other option of divorce to survive.

    let her soul rest in peace.

  30. I’m so sorry for you, toddler Ezra; your mother worked hard to bring your father to America so that you can grow up comfortable, happy, proud, and self confident in the presence of both your dad and your mom. Unfortunately, it didn’t workout that way because your dad for some unknown reason had killed you mother by chocking her.

    My great concern now is for you, not for your mother because she will never come back, and the good Lord will comfort her soul in heaven. In the mean time, you are lucky you have a father; of course, it will be hard to live with your mother’s killer. I hope someone will come up and open his/her door for you so that you can grow up comfortably and without fear, and may the Almighty God gives you a second mother that loves you so much and cares for you.

    Dear Gebeyehu, why did you do this cruelty to your son’s mother? Your evil action has left your son motherless, and most of us Ethiopians in diaspora could not comprehend your senseless behavior – a behavior that lacks the kindness and patience of many other Ethiopians. Your ruthless act has destroyed not only your wife but the good reputations of many other Ethiopians in diaspora. May God forgive your sin because killing a sin?

  32. She was a very good friend of mine, she is very hard worker, lovely. It is hard for me to belivie this she nevr deserve this oh my God, please help her families and her kid. thank you Elais for your information. I belivie every body get lesson from this.

    God bless ethiopian’s and Ethiopia

  33. This sounds like a heat of the moment thing, and definitely a passion killing. They were both young couple driven by passion and love for each other and as they say there a fine line between love and hate(murder).

    I do not know the specific nor do I care to speculate, but the untimely loss of human life is always tragic and feel deeply for the son. He will grow not knowing he had a wonderful mother who worked hard to give him a better life and he will be denied the love of his father for ever.

    This is not the time or the place for cheap shots and wild accusations. However, as a man, I would like to add this – most men that I know, married Ethiopian men, here in this place, at one time or another, have surely entertain the anger of killing their spouse, only if they can get away with it!!!

  34. what a terrible tragedy.my heart goes out to her family and friends. Metsi didn’t deserve this. Ezra, I know you have a lovely family who loves and more than willing to care for you. You will be ok little man. Rest in peace Metsi!

  35. A very sad story and very disturbing – there is an under current fundamental issue psychological issue amongist most of us moving out of the country – immagine most of those born during the regime of Mingistu and the banda meles are now in their thirties – they no nothing but cruelty – killings torture and terrorism – one can imagine growing up in continuous fear and insecurity. Coming here to the US and living among seemingly normal people is hard to adapt – we need a strong community where these people can get the right orientation and transition.

  39. Its so sad to hear this mother of one die this way,my deepest condolences to her family, the DV generation needs some kind of councling i think,come on ppl lets not be a generation who kills it self. REST IN PEACE Metsihet.

  40. It is very sad, indeed. However, for any one who loves life there is a lot to learn. Stop and try to conceive what made Gebeyehu do this.

    Ladies: be yourselves. Keep your dignity. Live humble.In normal circumstances, he(Geb..) knew that she is very important, if the worst comes, for his son. But something unbearable must have happened for him to tress pass all the connection and commit murder.

    The bottom line. Men: forgive your woman or go far away.
    Women: do not full yourself. Better be yourself. Do not let other people p in u.

  42. I was shocked when I heard about what happened. It’s sad…. At the same time I was disgusted by some of the comments made in this website. I strongly urge all of us not to be judgmental. Mind you, none of us were there….if you feel sorry, you can still make a difference by supporting their son, Ezra.

  43. As a mother of a 3 year old boy, I can not imagine what this little boy is going through (boys are very close to their moms). What a tragedy! My heartfelt condolence to her family. Does anyone have info about organized effort to collect some funds for her funeral expenses?

  44. it is truly a devestating time. no one should ever die for something that is simply preventable. my heart goes out to little ezra, and to her family as well.

  45. I can’t belive it coz iknow sirak how much was he loved his wife mesthet however i’m praing for them a little kid EZERA save place from our GOD. GOD BLESSED EZERA.

  46. What a tragedy. My condolences to the family. May Mesthet rest in peace. The Almighty God, our Father, will certainly take good care of Ezra. In the future, when married couples migrate to the USA at different times, who ever comes late should make his/her 1st US visit to Ethiopian Community Centers for a brief orientation about life in the USA. Presumabley, the centers are in a position to address family related issues of this sort.

  47. This is a tragedy for both wife and husband. I am very much sadend by this kind of repeated bad news in our community. I DO NOT GO TO THE SO CALLED ETHIOPIAN ORTHODOX CHURCH. If all of these churchs have done their proper duty as the church, these two young husband and wife would have not lost their lives. THIS IS A MATTER OF SPIRITUAL STRENGTH, MORAL, DIGNITY AND SO ON SOFORTH THAT THE CHURCH SHOULD HAVE PROVIDED TO SAVE LIVES OF THE YOUNG AND THE OLD, THE MAN AND THE WOMEN, THE WIFE AND THE HUSBAND. CHURCH GOERS YOU SHOULD DEMAND THESE FROM YOUR CHURCH ORGINAZATIONS; THAT IS FROM THE PRIEST, MONK, DICONE, ETC. YOU SHOULD NOT JUST ALWAYS BLAME THESE ON GOD AND DEVIL THEN BLAME EACH OTHER. ANY WAYS IF THE CHURCH DO NOT REACH OUT THE ETHIOPIAN DIASPORA WHY DOES IT EXIST IN THE UNITED STATES? IS’NT IT THE CHURCHES RESPONSIBILITY TO INSTALL AND INGRAVE PEACE AND LOVE IN EVERY EHTIOPIANS MIND SET. I HOPE YOU DO NOT KEEP ON ACCEPTING THE ETHIOPIAN CHURCH AS ONE OF THE BUSINESS ENTITY. I SAY ALL THESE BECAUSE IF THEY DO STAND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THEY ALL SHOULD REACH OUT AND DO THE GODS WORK NOT THE DEVILS WORK. SAVE THE ETHIOPIAN COMMUNITY IN ANY WAY AT ANY COST. WE SHOULD SAY NEVER, NEVER AGAIN. THE ETHIOPIAN CHURCH GOERS I URGE YOU, YOU SHOULD TAKE OVER YOUR CHURCHES AND SAVE THESE KIND OF PEOPLE FROM HURTING EACH OTHER.

    GOD BLESS ALL OF US SIDETEGNAS, NATURALIZED CITIZENS, GREEN CARD HOLDERS, DIVERSITY VISA HOLDERS, ASYLIS YOU NAME IT WE ALL ARE IN THE SAME CATAGORY LETS US NOT KID OURSELVES OKAY.

  48. Just to throw some insider’s light upon you…

    Metsie or her killer are not of the “dv generation,” whatever that is supposed to mean. Soon after Ezra was born, Metsie moved to Russia to work in the Ethiopian Embassy at Moskva; then she came to the US seeking asylum. She worked day and night – often at the risk of her health – to be able to reunite with her baby and her husband; and, thanks to her perseverance, she succeeded.

    We were all happy with her and loved her precocious baby Ezra. Her husband was also well liked among us for his good manners and culture. None of us discerned the monster in him until that unfortunate Tuesday.

    Metsie was hoping to go to school once her husband stands on his two feet and starts supporting the family. We thought hers was going to be a happily-ever-after ending, but this tragedy struck within seven months of the happy family reunion.

    Currently Ezra is staying with Metsie’s sister, but I doubt that the authorities will let her keep him.

    We may never know what happened between them but Metsie and her exuberant smile are gone forever; the life of little Ezra is shattered; and those of us who knew her lovely personality are left with deep wounds in our hearts.

    May she rest in peace.

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