When Ethiopia’s dictator Meles Zenawi announced recently that 10,000 tons (20 million pounds, or 9 million kilograms) of coffee disappeared without a trace, the Ethiopian Review Intelligence Unit (ERIU) immediately went to work to find out who took it. For ERIU’s crack team of investigators it was not difficult to find out how 25,000 truck loads of coffee beans could disappear without a trace. The ERIU team has uncovered that the coffee was stolen by none other than the dictator’s wife, the mother of corruption Azeb Mesfin. Fully aware in advance that it was Azeb who stole the coffee, Meles called a meeting with traders and asked them to forget about what happened to the disappeared coffee, but warned them that if any one steals coffee against I will cut off his hands. Watch the press conference below.